Who knows why but I woke up in the mood for a good comeback story. The corporate kind. The ones when everyone thinks a company is done. And, surprisingly, in next-to-no-time, they return to life. Their recoveries inspire people. They create ideas that people follow. Turnarounds like this don’t happen very often, so when they do, people talk about them. Forever. In the sketchy ether of my morning wake up fog, I kept hearing, “Hey Suess.” So, on a Sunday when readership will be few, I’ll rhyme my normal dreck for me and for you. Seuss meets biz. In anapestic meter. I see my role as one of greeter.
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Intro
Marvel, Apple, Chrysler, and Vice // All neared bankruptcy once or, twice. // Gather. Gather. Gather ‘round. // For the tales of their returns, I have searched for and found. // Some stories are long and some of them shorter. // Some even use words that may make you a snorter.
Netflix
Let’s start with Netflix. // Who sent us movies we loved. // By mail no less. // Into our boxes they shoved.
It was folly to think it. // But this insanity worked. // We signed up for a library service. // In that sense, we were jerked.
Hoffman the Reed, // who ran the place an idea had. // Somehow, he knew, that delivery was bad.// He started a service to deliver a stream. // Oddly we all hated it. // I mean, who wants to live the dream?
A Prof from Wharton derided the split. // They hated Netflix. // And believed Qwickster a hit. // 800,000 subs fled the streaming service // That made the company’s investors nervous. // They thought the plan a strategic flop. // One day, the shares saw an 80% drop.
Today, our movies come through a wire. // DVDs of yore, we burned in a pyre. // Netflix is worth a quarter of a trill. // It’s OK to compete with yourself. // Doubters — take a big pill.
Apple
Next up it’s Apple. // The poster child for success. // But, once upon a time, // it was a really big mess.
They kicked out Steve. // Who had started the place. // They’d lost their magic. // They’d fallen from grace.
Without Jobs’ savvy // Their products lacked panache. // Who used a Newton? // It was a pain the ass.
Their blah machines weren’t selling. // They needed a boost. // They brought back old Steve. // “Please, come home — to roost.”
Jobs brought a white knight // A guy who’s named Gates. // Fan boys booed him. // Their hearts filled with hates.
His Microsoft money, // Saved the day it did. // And, the turnaround began. // In fact, Apple blew off the lid.
The morale is this. // The sandbox is big // Hogs get fat. // You know what happened to pig // And, old Steve summed it up // With these words he did spew, // Jobs said, “This is a big market, there’s room for we two.”
Chrysler
That brings us to Chrysler. // Who went through this twice. // Fortunately for them, // They know how to save with dice.
In the 1970s, // They faced a threat existential. // No one found their bulky cars, // all that essential.
With interest rates high; // And gas prices too // Drivers wanted efficiency; // And the axle moved too.
Chrysler was done for. // They were all but gone. // Then, Ford fired its President. // And he joined Chrysler anon.
Lee was smart. // And full of EQ. // He asked ideas of dealers and unions. // His Thing One and Thing Two.
He took money from gov. // Told them he’d pay it all back. // The K-car will save us. // He said, “That’s a fact.”
He was a celeb. // Featured in ads. // Saved Lady Liberty. // Was a model to dads.
Just goes to show you. // Big ideas win. // You need leadership too. // ‘Cause spin is just spin.
So big toasts to comebacks // To, you, Lee Iacocca // To Hastings to Jobs //
[geez, look at the time, I gotta run.]
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What? You thought I couldn’t rhyme Iacocca?
So big toasts to comebacks // To, you, Lee Iacocca // To Hastings to Jobs // A cola for all, my fave, Coca.